You gotta have friends

You gotta have friends

I woke up this morning with the song, “Ya Gotta Have Friends” by Bette Midler stuck in my head.  Probably because we are moving to a different state within 30days, I’m waxing nostalgic.  Here is just one section of the lyrics…

Cause you got to have friends
La la la la la la la la la
Friends, I said you,
Oh you, yeah you, I said
You got to have some Friends
Something about friends
Just right friends
Friends, friends, friends

I am also reminded of the quote (not sure who by) … “Friends come into your life for a season, a reason, or a lifetime.” There are tons of different quotes, plaques, pictures, etc. about friends.
There are many kinds of friends. 

– Friends who hang around you because of your reputation, they want to be known for hanging out with you.
– Party friends, the ones who like to go out & have fun all the time.
– Study buddies, those studious friends who like to do schoolwork/Bible study together.
– Coffee friends, touch base & chit chat people.
– Some people are friends for what you can do for them, once you no longer can assist them, they move on.
– Computer friends, some of whom you don’t even “really know”, but you have a common connection and can relate.
– Prayer partners, those friends you pray with, and for.
– Childhood friends, people you have grown up with all your life, and stay in touch with even though you may have moved.
– Mean friends – those who use you as the butt of all their jokes and pranks (lose them – you don’t need this).
– Neighborhood friends, the ones you see only when there is a neighborhood get together.
– Best friends, the ones you do everything with.
– Acquaintances, friends who you see often, but really only have a passing, casual “Hey, how ya doin’” type of relationship with.
– Family members, it’s always nice when you are friends with the people you are related to.
– True friends. I would describe this as a friend who will drop what they are doing at a moment’s notice if you are in need. As the quote goes – “someone who knows you and likes you anyway”. Someone you trust enough to confide in. Someone who will speak truth to you, even if it hurts, but they say it in such a kind way that you can accept the wisdom and consider what they are saying. Someone who can say “Love ya” and mean it – in a friendship way, of course.

What type of friends are you hanging out with?  Are they people who lift you up, or tear you down?  Are you benefiting from the friendship? Are they?   If you have friends that are bringing you down, if you are doing things with these friends that you wouldn’t “normally” do, if you are not being your true self around these people – I suggest it’s time to re-evaluate your friends and maybe look for some new ones. 

Finding new friends can be difficult.  (Yup, we’re moving to a new state – I will be experiencing this real quick, sigh).  Where can you find new friends?  How about  taking some classes?  Volunteer somewhere.  Join a club.  Start attending church. Join a Bible study group. The old run your grocery cart into someone – haha, no not really.  Nightclubs.  Yes, you can find friends at nightclubs/dance clubs, just be careful.  Often those friends aren’t really looking for true friends.  They would turn into “party friends”, but you can find friends by going out.  The trick is to get involved with the types of things you are interested in and the people who you find there have the potential to go past acquaintance to friend. Grin.

The trick to having true friends is that both (or all) people involved have to reciprocate the relationship.  If it is one sided and you are the one providing all the friendship, then you are really in a “Some people are friends for what you can do for them, once you are no longer can assist them, they move on” friendship.  If the other person is the one giving all the friendship and you are not being a mutually caring friend, then you are the one using the other person.

What kind of a friend are you to your friends?

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