Things are out of control
How many of you stress and/or worry about things that are not in your control?
When people ask me how I’m doing, if I really give an honest answer… I’m fine. My life is going along pretty well.
Now, if I start thinking about the people around me and some of the issues they are having – and let those issues affect me – worrying about, stressing over, getting all dramatic about someone else’s struggles and feeling as if they are my own personal struggles – I might have a very different answer.
While talking to my mom recently, she commented, “Wow, you have a lot going on.” I told my mom that I really didn’t, other people did, and I am happy to help out when needed, but other people having a lot going on should not have an effect on me. Her response was, “Good for you!”
So many people live their lives in total chaos, trying to live others people’s lives for them. They get so involved in “helping” (or trying to control) that they take the other person’s issues personally. Then when things don’t go as they planned, in the other person’s life, they get all upset.
The trick to having a relatively calm and peaceful life isn’t to move to the mountains and become a hermit. It’s learning to control what’s in your own life and let others have control of their lives. For example: My son’s deployment. There was nothing I could do to keep him safe (other than pray). Worrying/stressing over it wasn’t going to help him, or be good for me. I had to learn to let myself be okay with not being in control. I had no choice.
Coming to the realization that there is truly nothing you can do, so there is no sense stressing about, it is a very freeing moment.
Give it a try!
Pam Horton www.newdirectionlifecoaching.com
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