Eliminate blinds spots to find your zen

A few years ago, when I was offered a special education teachers’ assistant job, I was told I am very patient.  I think my parents (and my brother) would laugh at that statement.  I was not a very patient child, or young adult.  I was a perfectionist, control freak, planner – and you better not mess up my plans or I was very upset.  To look at me now, you probably wouldn’t guess it, but my family knows how I was, and how I am now.  Our oldest son even said, “I have yet to attain the level of Zen that you have.” HAHA.

 

How was I able to become a “very patient” person, you might ask? 

Practice!  Actually, it has come with the understanding that

·         I am not perfect, nor do I have to be

·         I cannot control everything, nor should I try

·         worrying changes nothing, it only adds stress and/or drama to the situation

·         forgiving others doesn’t mean what happened was okay, but it allows me to move past it

·         you can’t change the past, so you need to find a way to deal with it and move positively forward

·         wisdom comes with age

·         it is what it is and… it’s all good.

Once you practice some of these things, you start to gain a level of peace. Once you are at peace with yourself, you can be more patient with others.

I will add, my understanding that faith is not about religion but about a relationship has allowed me to let go and let God.  I know, not everyone believes this.  That is your choice.  You can concentrate on the above bullet points that will definitely help.  If you’d like to learn more about the relationship piece of it, just drop me an email.  I’m happy to share any time.

Jim's thoughts:

Reading the above information from Pam makes me think about how hard she has worked to improve her self-awareness and eliminate the blind spots that she has. You know what blind spots are, right? Those places in your rearview mirror that you can’t see what’s really happening around you. We all have them.

Blind spots are those things that others see but we do not.

It may be a personality trait, a way of doing things that rubs others the wrong way, or a belief that we have about ourselves that just has no evidence of truth to it. Others can see these things in us, but we refuse to see them. It is not in the mirror for us.

But here’s the thing. If we are ever going to be an effective leader, manager, work colleague, team member, spouse, parent, etc., we have to identify and eliminate our blind spots. They are the things that are keeping us from being the best person we can be, especially in our relationships with others.

So how do we eliminate our blind spots?

·         Ask for feedback from people you trust. Feedback is known as “the breakfast of champions.” When you get feedback from others about your words, actions, and behaviors, you learn about your impact.

·         Observe how others react to you. Do they react positively or passively? Do they gain energy or drain energy? Understanding social cues helps identify blind spots.

·         Note how you feel in various situations and what triggers those feelings. This has to be a conscious, intentional effort in self-awareness to discover new aspects of ourselves.

Self-awareness is one of the first steps in improving our effectiveness in leadership. Start looking for your blind spots today and gain new vision for your future.