Pictures in our heads
Have you ever heard someone on the radio and perceived an image of them in your head? You know the DJ on the radio who sounds like he or she is hot, nerdy, sweet, or whatever your descriptor may be. And then you see them and they are nothing like what you had imagined!
Maybe you’ve heard stories told about people and, again, you have an image of them in your head, based on the stories you’ve heard. When you happen to actually meet that person, they are nothing like the picture in your head.
Sure, we’ve all done that. You can’t help but imagine what the people you hear about are like.
But… is that fair to a person you haven’t even met yet? I know life’s not fair. (My mother told me that once and I always remember it when I think about saying “that’s not fair.”)
Realistically, we are drawing conclusions about someone we’ve never met. They could be completely accurate, based on what we have been told, or heard. However, they could be totally off base, and here we’ve gone and pigeon holed that person into the category we thought they should be in already. Oops.
Once you have a misconception of someone, it can be hard to forget it.
Shaping preconceived notions of people we have never met, based on what you hear from others is not only unfair to them, but it’s unfair to you, too. If you want to know about someone, have a conversation with them. If it wasn’t completely horrible, have another one. The more you talk with someone (not about them) the more you will get to know them. Then, you can decide, for yourself, what type of person they really are.
*Pam Horton is a Board Certified Advanced Christian Life Coach, in the Raleigh area.*