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Paying for saying “I’m sorry”

I belong to a couple of women’s Facebook groups.  Occasionally, they’ll come up with something that hits home for me.

A couple of months ago it was the topic of the word “just.”  Saying how devaluing it is to the words that come after it.  Something like, “Just want you to know I’m thinking of you,” belittles the thought. It’s much clearer to say, “I’m thinking of you.”  You could even elaborate with, “I hope this finds you well.”  I took notice of how often I say “just.”  It was often.  I have adjusted my usage just a little. (wink)

A more recent post I saw was about saying “I’m sorry” too much.  This was another phrase I decided to pay more attention to.  Sure enough, I say it a lot.

Why do we say we are sorry?  It could be…

  • an automatic response, which is mostly what mine are.  Studies say this lessens the impact of a heartfelt apology.
  • an angry, accusing response.  We aren’t really sorry when we say it, and it often causes a heated reaction from the person we are saying it to.
  • A true apology is a genuine apology that asks for forgiveness or empathy.

If we are saying, “I’m sorry” more than as a true apology, it’s time to re-evaluate our use of the word.

I saw a cool post that I thought relevant and wanted to share the idea with you.  It’s a money jar.  It can help you stop saying I’m sorry and if you say it way too much, it can help you save enough money to go out to dinner when you are no longer adding to it.   

The idea being, when you say ‘I’m sorry” as an automatic response, you put money in the jar.  Let’s $1.00 (but you can make it whatever amount you want.)

I’d take it one step further and suggest that if you say “I’m sorry” in an angry/accusing way you take a $1.00 out of the jar and give it to the person you were trying to manipulate with the tone of your phrase.

Something to ponder.  If you decide to try it out, let me know how it works for you!

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