Not my band vs. Not my monkey
Did I ever tell you the story of the day I was volunteering in the kitchen at a church, serving a now very big-name band? The band shall remain nameless; they were not a big name at the time. They were doing a tour with two other bands and playing at our church.
Coming through the food line, one guy forgot to pick up his silverware on the way by it as he went out the door. So, the head of kitchen ministry said to the next guy in line, “Would you take him some silverware, please?” The singer stepped out of the line to look at who had just walked out, then stepped back and replied, “Not my band” and proceeded down the line and out the door, without any extra silverware for the guy who had forgotten it. We were amazed at that response. I mean, really?
That became a standing kitchen joke, any time someone didn’t want to do something they’d say, “Not my band” and we’d all chuckle.
One day my friend posted something on Facebook. Every time you feel yourself being pulled into other people’s drama, repeat these words… not my circus, not my monkeys…. not my band. Of course, I chuckled. But then I remembered the point of, not my monkeys.
The idea behind that is if you are feeding someone else’s monkeys:
- they’ll probably let you
- it’s not your job to feed someone else’s monkeys
- it’s their job
- they should be doing it
- not you
Valid point. Same goes for drama. My drama mantra is, “Walk away from drama.”
Does that mean we were wrong to think the “Not my band” guy was being a jerk by not helping his fellow man? I suppose there could have been some background story there that we weren’t aware of. I suppose choosing to help someone, or not, is a choice and there can be a fine line between being a jerk or a doormat. Perhaps our reaction is based on how we perceive a situation. Something to ponder.
Funny thing about perception – whether it’s real or perceived, it’s real to the person who thinks it.