So, I was talkin’ with my mom the other day (I call her every Sunday) and was telling her about something/one I had observed recently.
I volunteered to work an author’s table at a conference. After the author spoke, they had a book signing session. I watched this person stand for hours, write in thousands of books, pray over people, and be seemingly empathetic. I was truly impressed.
However, as the day went on, I began to wonder about their authenticity. This person seldom acknowledged the volunteers, barked needs to employees (who jumped to it), and at one point prayed over a person & then turned to an employee to ask a question about checks. Hmm.
As I was expressing my thoughts, to my mom, about this author being fake, the word “fake” slapped me in the face. The people I volunteered with saw me as “Peppy Pam”, bubbly, outgoing, in a great mood, etc. Well, that’s what they expected to see on day two of the conference as well. I gotta tell ya – at 7am, I am not typically fully caffeinated, so not real “peppy”. I arrived and thought to myself, “Okay, here we go” and walked over to my table and said (very loud and boisterous), “Good Morning Ladies, are we all ready for another wonderful day?” Each of them came over with a big smile on their face to hug me. I had done as they expected, they were happy. A dear friend who was volunteering with me hugged me and said, “That was fake.” My response was, “Yup, but I’m working up to it.”
Am I fake? Oh, I hope not, but I certainly cannot criticize the person I was disappointed in. Am I a disappointment to others when they see the times that I am not being 100% real at all times? Of course, the only person who knew I wasn’t truly “Peppy Pam” at 7am, was my friend (who knows me all together too well – haha). Hmmm, it was an interesting reality brought to the forefront. I have always thought that if I act happy/peppy/upbeat/ etc, even if I don’t feel it, that it will help get me into that mood. I still think that. I believe that’s what I was doing. Acting in the way I wanted to be, so that I would be.
Hmmm, that brings me back to the author. I suppose they could have been acting in the way that was expected by their fans. And I’m sure they were tired after many hours of listening to people’s problems and signing books.
What’s that phrase? Judge not…that ye not be judged. Lesson learned.