I can’t do it

I can’t do it

There are many people with issues I would like to help them with. But ya know what? I can’t. Oh, coming from a life coach, that doesn’t sound very encouraging, does it? Let me explain…

As a life coach, friend, mom, et al, I can suggest, encourage, direct, and even give someone the stink-eye, but if they don’t take action, nothing will happen. You are the only one who can do anything about you. I can’t do it for you. No one can.

As a mom, especially of grown children, I’m happy to help out. But, there are some things our children have to do themselves, like…
• Deciding who to vote for
• Determining whether to have a family
• Choosing what (if any) religious belief to follow
They are the only one who can make those decisions. I can’t do it.

As a friend, I’m happy to help out. I’m often asked about marriage relationships, or parenting relationships, even my relationship with God. These are all topics I am more than happy to listen, share my experience, and encourage my friends to find what works for them… and then act on it. They are the only ones who can do anything about their situations. I can’t do it for them.

As a coach, it is my job to ask questions that get people thinking about things in a different way. The answers are in you. Sometimes you just need a little help getting them to come to the surface and give you that AH-HA moment. Once you have some answers, you set a plan of action, and I hold you accountable to do what you said you wanted to do. If you are having success following your plan, I yell “YEA YOU!” If you are struggling, I ask a few more questions and we tweak the plan and move forward. Always positively forward. BUT, you are the only one who can do anything about you. I can’t do it for you.

Are you detecting a pattern here?

If you are the friend, or parent, trying to “fix things” for other people and feeling like you are letting them down. Ease up on yourself. There are some things people just have to do for themselves. I know, it’s hard to watch people struggle, but until they have made the decision to change, nothing will change for them.

If you are the person that people are always trying to change, ask yourself why. Are you happy with how your life is going? If so… keep on going. If not… perhaps it’s time to decide to make a change. I can’t do it, but YOU can. The decision is yours.

*Pam Horton is a Board Certified Advanced Christian Life Coach, in the Raleigh area.*