It amazes me how many people have to have things their way or no way. What ever happened to the art of compromise?
Dictionary.com says compromise, as a verb, means to “settle a dispute by mutual concession.”
Mutual concession = two, or more, sides giving in just a little, to bring about an agreeable conclusion. Sometimes, one side will give in more than another, but if that is agreeable to all parties to make the deal work, then it’s still a compromise.
The willingness, and ability, to compromise can be very useful. You can compromise with a
• Family member
• Or total stranger
You never know when the need to compromise may come up.
Just this past weekend, Jim gave in BIG TIME. We have been pet free for about 5 years now. It’s certainly nice to have that freedom. Every now and then I’d see FaceBook posts of cats for adoption. He’s been saying “No” for a long time. Then our daughter-in-law started fostering kittens. Yup, just made me want one more. I kept dropping hints and comments, but Jim was pretty adamant that we remain pet free.
A couple of months ago I restated, “I would like another cat.” Jim’s reply was, “I want a Corvette.” I told him that we could get a cat and NAME it Corvette. HAHA. His comment made me wonder if he was warming up to the idea, though. So, I kept dropping hints.
A couple of weeks ago, there was a national “Clear the Shelter” day, when many shelters and rescues would waive their adoption fees. I kept sharing the info to my FB page, and tagging Jim. He was a good sport about it. Finally, the day before the big event came and we had to discuss the topic of getting a cat. Much to my surprise, he let me go and pick one out! And guess who that silly cat prefers?! Yup, Jim. HAHA.
You never know when a little patience, persistence, and compromise might make everyone involved acceptable to an idea. Oh, did I mention… we named the cat Cora, short for CORA VETTE (get it?). I love my husband! (Although I did see him looking at some car sites online. Hmmm…)
Try not having a “winner” or “loser” in a conflict situation. Compromising can be the “not perfect” answer. After all, who among us is perfect? We can often be happy with good enough or almost perfect. So, give a little. You’d be surprised what it can do for a relationship.
*Pam and Jim are Certified Marriage Mentors.