How we communicate matters

How we communicate matters

proper communication is important to any relationship.  There… point made.  Most of you are saying, “Well, yeah.  Tell us something we don’t know.”  Okay, how about this:

You may know proper communication is important, but you may not be acting on what you know.  Ouch.  That’s a toe-stepping statement.  It’s true.  I know many folks that talk about how important it is for their spouse, friend, business partner, co-worker to communicate properly with them – and then, they use volume and tone of voice with facial expressions in response to that person.    You know what I’m talking about…you’ve seen it, or perhaps have done it.

How do you communicate properly?  Let me give you a few tips….

  • Only yell at someone if they’re in imminent danger
  • See things from their point of view first
  • Be aware of your tone of voice, and keep it kind
  • Be aware of those facial expressions and eye rolls
  • Stay “outta people’s faces,” unless they want a kiss
  • Avoid pushing someone’s buttons – you know what get’s their blood boiling
  • Say what you mean, expecting them to guess what your intentions are is silly – they aren’t mind a reader
  • Have your body language match your words
  • You can refuse to engage (tell them you want to take a break and come back to the topic once everyone has calmed down)
  • Choose your battles, not everything has to be a fight
  • Agree to disagree, sometimes you just won’t be on the same page

That should get you started.  There are a few great books, I often recommend to people.

Boundaries  by Henry Cloud, The 5 Love Languages by Gary Chapman, and Everyone Communicates, Few Connect by John Maxwell. 

Each book has now grown into many versions for different situations.  All very beneficial information and easy to find, available on #amazon.