Most of us have played a sport with someone we would consider a “ball hog.” For those who haven’t experienced that, sportingcharts.com/dictionary defines a ball hog as “A player who would rather shoot or hold onto the ball than pass to his or her teammates. Ball-hogging is considered a selfish act.”
I consider a ball hog someone who takes every opportunity to be in control of the ball. Now, if the ball isn’t in my court, or I can’t get to it, by all means, go after it. But, if the ball is somewhere in my vicinity and I am able to take it…. Let me.
Not only is ball hogging selfish, but it is also just plain rude. Assuming that your partner can’t or won’t pull their weight on the team, or deciding to take control of an entire situation is absolutely not necessary if the other person is capable of handling things.
I think you can agree with me in the statement that being a ball-hog is selfish and rude.
Now let’s put a little twist in the scenario. Let’s say you are interacting with
• A coworker
• A parent
• Your parent
• Your spouse
• Your child
• Or anyone else you come in contact with
Are you being a ball hog?
• Assuming they can’t do it
• Assuming they won’t try
• Unnecessarily taking control of a situation
Well, now that I’ve put it that way, maybe you are being a ball hog!
Of course, not allowing someone to attempt to succeed dooms them to failure.
If you are always doing everything how will they learn and grow? What kind of message are you sending to someone else, if you are constantly taking over and stepping in front of them? Perhaps, “I’m not good enough.” Or they could become rebellious, “I’ll show them.” They might even think, “What a jerk!” Obviously, none of these thoughts are positive, encouraging thoughts.
If you have had the realization, after reading this, that you tend to be a ball-hog, now is the time to become a team player.
Believe it or not most people want to do some things on their own. Everyone likes to feel that sense of accomplishment that comes from a job well done. Let them try. Let them fail – what? Yes, sometimes we need to fail to find a different way to succeed. Nobody is perfect and we make mistakes. It’s a part of life.
At the moment that you want to jump in front and take over, step back (unless it’s a life threatening situation) and give someone else a chance for glory.
*Pam Horton is a Board Certified Advanced Christian Life Coach, in the Raleigh area.*