NewDirection Life Coaching

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The Power of NO

I have written about the need to say “No” before, but have recently been asked to revisit the topic.

Let me start with a story….
I was in the hallway of a past work place asking a co-worker if they could help with an evening event. They hemmed and hawed and eventually gave some explanation and said sorry but they couldn’t. To which I responded, “Ya know, that didn’t need to be so hard, all you had to say was ‘No’.” Someone who happened to be walking by at the time quipped,”If you figure out how to do that, let me know.”

Why is it so hard to tell people “No”? Perhaps because pretty much everything associated with that word is negative? Check out the definition options on dictionary.com!

Have you ever considered the good things saying “No” can do?
• Stop inappropriate behavior
• Keep a toddler safe
• Allow you some personal time

Did I say that? Are you allowed to turn down a request for your time? Even if it’s for a good cause? YES!

How many of you are overwhelmed because you are doing numerous things for other people?
Don’t get me wrong, I tend to want to help others, it’s just my nature, and can easily say yes to any number of requests for my time, talents and funds. However – you (and me)… we – can’t do it all!

If you are a generous/cheerful giver (of whatever) people will come to you first. That doesn’t mean there are not others they can ask. It could be that a need may go unmet, and that is truly a shame. It should not be up to you, and only you, to fix the world.

Many of you are familiar with the story of the sisters, Mary & Martha. Jesus goes to visit in their home and Martha is running all about trying to take care of things. Mary, on the other hand is letting the things go by the wayside and visiting with her company.

This is a prime example of being too busy. It is okay to take some time for yourself and your family once in a while. Even often!

Like the airplane safety guide says…Take care of yourself first, then take care of others. Is that a selfish stance? I suppose some might think of it that way but if you run yourself down taking care of others, what good are you to them then?

You have the power to choose how you spend your time. Let me just remind you… it’s okay to say “No”…(at least once in a while).

*Pam Horton is a Board Certified Advanced Christian Life Coach, in the Raleigh area.*

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