NewDirection Life Coaching

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Not showing up

I have written on the topic of promise, agreements, commitments before, but I still find all too often that people think nothing of just not showing up for something they said they’d show up for. I find it very frustrating.

Posting this as a reminder to keep your commitments (and if you don’t think you can follow through and show up, then don’t agree to it). When you don’t show up it not only makes you look bad, but it makes others feel bad. The holiday season is a busy time. Plan your time wisely and then, follow through with the commitments that you made.

“Will you keep this commitment?” I think this is a valid question. I find that people can’t, don’t, or won’t keep the commitments they have made. Whether it’s to a
• spouse
• job
• organization
• parent
• child
• or friend
Many times people seem to have a hard time keeping a commitment.

Let’s take a look at the definition of commitment…
a pledge or promise; obligation. Also, engagement; involvement
Dictionary.com says the word is a noun, (so it’s a thing, which means it requires an action).
You make a pledge or a promise which then obligates you to engagement or involvement.

Okay, I’ll agree with that. Perhaps even more simply put… A commitment is actually doing what you said you were going to do.

You know, I’ll be the first one to say that “life happens.” Things come up and they are in conflict with another commitment we have made. That’s when priorities comes into play. I will also be the first one to say “family first,” meaning that my family takes priority. However, that is still not an excuse not to honor your commitment.

Here are some steps to follow if you discover a conflict in your schedule…
• Let someone know ASAP
• Try to get someone to cover for you
• Ask for assistance in getting someone to cover for you
• Cancel your commitment well ahead of the day and time it is to happen

It is certainly understandable when emergencies happen that you have to cancel, even at the last minute. Please make sure that you, or someone you’ve asked to help you, let’s all people involved know the event has been cancelled.

I see absolutely no reason that something a person has known about for days, or longer, gets cancelled at the last minute. Or, that people just drop out of a commitment, or even worse, are a no call/no show for no reason other than they didn’t feel like it. Yup, pet peeve.

One last comment, if you aren’t positive you can keep the commitment to ____(fill in the blank)____ at least 90% of the time, don’t make it! It’s tough on relationships when you let people down.

Okay, I’ll get off my soapbox now.

*Pam Horton is a certified Stress Management coach in the Raleigh area.*

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