NewDirection Life Coaching

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Moving on after you’re heart is broken

How do you go on when your heart is broken?

Most of us have had a heart broken at some point in our lives. And most of us muddle our way through it and go on with our lives. Sometimes we never completely heal and bitterness fills the hole in our heart.

There are many reasons why we may have a broken heart. Today, we will relate it to a couple splitting up. One statistic, from 2012, stated that in the US there are 6,646 divorces per day… per DAY!
Some of those will be a mutual decision, but others will be done with broken trust, hurt, and sadness.

So let’s follow the emotions of the latter couple. What were your emotions when it happened to you (if it did)?
• Shock
• Hurt
• Sadness
• ANGER
• Revenge?
• Wild Partying
• Isolation
• Depression
You could feel all of these or some in any order and maybe more than once, but none of these are healthy.

Of course you need to give yourself time to grieve the loss of the relationship. How long? That depends.
If you are single you can take a bit longer than if you are a parent. If you have children, the grieving process will need to be rather short, as you have other people depending on you to take care of them.

I believe the real way to get over a broken heart is… forgiveness.
Oh, NO – she does not expect me to forgive that @#$%^&*(!
Yes… I do.

It won’t be easy and it will take some time, but you have to forgive the person that broke your heart.
If you don’t it will eat you up.
Keeping that hurt and pain in your heart doesn’t allow it to heal.

Maybe talking to a counselor or pastor will help you through the process. Maybe writing it out, or going to the gym for an hour every day will help get your emotions out. One way or another, you need to get those emotions out (not directed at your children and not in a way that will be harmful to you). Keeping things all bottled up inside only leads to a time bomb waiting to go off (probably at a most inappropriate time). Once you get those emotions out, then you will find it easier to forgive.

Yes, it’s awkward at first, but it gets easier as time goes on.
Trust me (been there/done that) – forgiveness is the key to going on when your heart is broken.

*Pam Horton is a Board Certified Advanced Christian Life Coach in the Raleigh/Durham area.*

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