NewDirection Life Coaching

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Get Over Yourself

What did I just say? You heard me, but I could phrase it maybe a little nicer. We need to get over ourselves. I could even make it very personal, I need to get over myself. No matter how I phrase it, the fact remains.

I was having a conversation with a friend when they made the comment… Do we let this ruin our family relationships, or do we just get over ourselves and love unconditionally? They weren’t asking me. It was a question the couple had asked themselves about some family drama.

I was floored by the comment. It was so eye-opening. Can it be as simple as, “Get Over Yourself?” Perhaps so! Although, as I’ve heard, and said, before… simple doesn’t mean easy.

Did you notice I mentioned “family drama?” If you have never experienced family drama, consider yourself blessed. Most of you know what I am talking about. It could be something minor like, so & so said such & such about whatever. It could be as major as a divorce, or a death, in the family.

No matter the cause, family drama has a way of tearing families apart. People can say horrible things to each other in the heat of the moment, especially if they are trying to prove their superiority over the other person.

If some of us are completely honest, we aren’t particularly close to (maybe not even fond of) some of our family members. That doesn’t mean you let the family fall apart. You are family. That means something.

A wise friend once told me, “It’s not worth ruining the relationship over.” I have shared that tidbit of wisdom with many people in the last decade or so.

Let’s take a quick look at why we may be experiencing family drama. I believe it happens when one or more people…
• Must prove their idea is the best
• Believe they are correct in their thoughts or actions
• Think they have the best way to do something
• Feel self-righteous about lifestyle choices
• Insist they know what the ill or deceased person wanted
• Any number of other scenarios…
Do you see a pattern?

What might happen if, instead of the negative drama and people insisting they know best, you (me,we,they,everybody) simply “Get Over Yourself?” If we all realized that preserving the relationship is more important than being right, more families would enjoy great relationships.

For those families who seem to thrive on drama, it could take some time to get everybody on the same page.
Start by:
Remembering you are family
Forgiving past hurts
Conversing calmly
Agree to disagree
Repeat the above steps as many times as needed

And then… Get Over Yourself!

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Jim Horton
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