Do you have a “strong-willed child?”
During a conversation my friend commented, “But I know you. You’re gonna do what you’re gonna do.” I had to chuckle, because I thought I had left that behavior behind me many years ago.
My husband then chimed in, “We know where our boys get it from.” To which I promptly deflected the blame onto my mother. My friend asked how that worked. I explained that my mother had given me the “mother’s curse” by saying, “I hope you have kids just like you!” (Thanks, MOM.)
I’m not speaking from statistics today, but from personal experience.
Raising a strong-willed child is NOT easy. In fact, it can be down-right frustrating! The strong-willed child is, “gonna do what they’re gonna do.” Sometimes that will be the exact opposite of what you have suggested, just because you suggested it. The strong-willed child typically must learn things the hard way, because they already know (or THINK they know) what is best for them. They will do things how they think is best, even if their parents know that is not what’s best for them.
A few more examples of a strong-willed child are:
· They must know why
· The could be on a debate team
· They like to be in charge
· They tend to be impatient
I would suggest that sometimes the only thing we can do is gently guide our strong-willed child and make suggestions while making sure they survive into adulthood.
In defense of the strong-willed child, I think most times we turn out okay. If we survive our many mistakes and the school of hard knocks, we grow up to be stronger for having “done it on our own.” Yes, we had help. Yes, we heard what our parents were saying. Yes, we probably had that “AHA” moment when we realized our parents were right and things would have been much easier if we had listened to wise counsel. I must say though, I would not change a thing. I am the person I am because of the things I’ve experienced, and I like who I am, so it’s all good.
As to the opening conversation… It could be that having a strong will is just part of who I am and can be seen by others, even if it has been tamed.